JD and Marco Enter the Chat

NSA SURVEILLANCE
DOCUMENT EXTRACT
FILE #230-A-POTUS-INCOMING

(The following is unencrypted SMS/Text communication)

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TO: RealDJT; MRubio
FR: VPOTUS

Hey there -- I know u guys r focused on the Iran stuff now and honestly good luck with all of that doesn’t seem 2 B going good but anyways, I know that especially u Marco have been super-confident it will all go great and I hope it turns around in time to save the midterms, I had my doubts all along as u know Mr. P, but on another topic a thought occurs that maybe if we do in fact move on the Cuba situation we will need a viable Cuban head of state to replace present leadership and maybe Marco is the right guy for that? He is Cuban or Cuban adjacent as I recall. Will mean of course moving out of USA and current job but maybe that’s a win-win? I know u have a PAC up and running for 2028 which is weird b/c u keep saying u don’t but u do but anyway that might mean you can’t be a candidate for 2028 b/c ur busy in Cuba. Idk. Thots? JD

TO: RealDJT; VPOTUS
FR: MRubio

Hi JD, thanks for this, and I love the creativity here, but as you know I am pretty busy here helping lead a serous military operation while you I guess are preoccupied with giving Tucker Carlson back rubs and also not using proper spelling or punctuation which, frankly, is disrespectful to the President of the United States Donald J. Trump #MAGA but I have another idea. We will need a viable leader for a newly liberated Iran and maybe you’re the right guy for that? It’s a theocracy after all. Plus your wife is Iranian, or something, right? Not a normal American in any case, as I know you have noted Mr. President when we have been together in private one-on-one. Think it over and give us a call when you’re done with your podcasts. We will be in the Situation Room making hard choices. Sincerely, the Secretary of State to President Donald J. Trump #MAGA

TO: RealDJT; MRubio
FR: VPOTUS

Hi Lil Marco, not sure IM the right guy for the Iran gig wuz thinkin u wd b better since it’s clear they’re OK with a leader who is a little lite in the loafers -- JK JK -- not really -- LOL Mr. P know ur loving ur lace up shoes and tyvm for the Florsheims btw -- but srsly Lil Marco u in Cuba or Iran 4 the 2028 elections wd be GREAT for the actual R ’28 ticket which will deffo be me and DJT Jr. or possibly Ivanka or even in a pinch Eric but one of those three for sure. Not b/c they’re kidz but b/c they r srsly the best choice for the job. Not sure I had made that clear Mr. P but yeah, gunna be me plus Trump to be named (by you) at a later date but that probs means Lil Marco needs to be in Habana or Tehran. Wd luv to announce this 2nite on Alex Jones. OK?

TO: RealDJT; VPOTUS
FR: MRubio

A group chat isn’t really the appropriate venue for this kind of thing, as I know you agree Mr. President Donald J. Trump, sir, #MAGA, because you are sitting next to me in the Situation Room and it’s unclear where you are at this moment, JD, but what’s important is that you are not here, making the tough calls. Putting Iran and Cuba aside, the real question is what happens when it becomes clear to everyone that the VP is not a great choice? Does one remain weak like Biden and just let it slide or does one take masculine action? That’s up to President of the United States Donald J. Trump #MAGA to decide but I know what counsel I’d be giving. Meanwhile, say hi to Tucker Carlson, JD. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

TO: RealDJT; MRubio
FR: VPOTUS

U know all about masculine action don’t u lil Marco

TO: RealDJT; VPOTUS
FR: MRubio

Seriously?

TO: RealDJT; MRubio
FR: VPOTUS

U r the 1 with the 28 PAC u won’t admit

TO: RealDJT; VPOTUS
FR: MRubio

I can’t help it if the people prefer a candidate who doesn’t wear eyeliner

TO: RealDJT; MRubio
FR: VPOTUS

Oh it’s on

TO: RealDJT; VPOTUS
FR: MRubio

Your mom, yes I know

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